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- Are you a single father, bereaved husband or gay father?
- Are you going through a divorce or fighting for custody?
- Do you find it difficult being without your children?
- Would you like some advice from men who are, or have been through similar situations?
- Are you interested in supporting the rights of fathers, their families and partners?
Dads UK is a news and information site dedicated to giving a voice and support to all people interested in fathers' rights. This includes partners, grandparents, uncles, aunts and anyone who has some kind of involvement with the father. Dads UK supports the growing demands of fathers in today’s society.
Registered members of this site can contribute articles, submit news items and links to useful resources, as well as participate in our very active forums (separate registration required). Please join us today and help promote the rights of fathers and their families.
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Thursday 28 June 2007 | New Campaign for Child Benefit reform | | | |
| A new UK campaign has been launched to seek reform in the way Child Benefit is allocated to parents after separation and divorce.
Child Benefit For Two (CB42.org) will lobby the Government on the current legislation which only supports the issueing of Child Benefit to one parent.
The campaign has started with a Downing Street petition calling for public support of the reforms.
You can find the link to the online petition from the campaign website:
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Tuesday 05 June 2007 | The changing face of the family - One parent can do just as good a job as two | | | |
| The traditional image of the family as mum, dad and 2.4 kids no longer reflects reality. Ground-breaking new research shows that in modern Britain it’s time to accept that successful families come in all shapes and sizes.
Government and church ministers might blame single parent families for society’s ills but most parents in the UK recognise that the notion of family has changed. More than three quarters of mums and dads see the family as an emotional support network rather than as a physical presence and almost half of all parents think their family bears only a slight resemblance to the Victorian ideal.
The majority of parents and children recognise that lone mothers and fathers are just as able to bring up youngsters well as two parents. Nearly nine out of ten single parents believe they are equally capable of giving their children the love and support they need and their kids agree! A massive 80% of youngsters from so called ‘broken homes’ say their mums and dads do a good job and add they are very proud of them.
Stepfamilies also come up trumps. Debunking the myth of rejection and conflict 79% of stepparents claim their stepchildren support them. Interestingly, children in families with stepfathers are more likely to see their parents as friends than the average youngster.
OneUp magazine’s research reveals single parent and stepfamilies receive greater support from grandparents, aunts, uncles and even friends than traditional families. It’s not an easy ride, though: 84% of single mums and dads and 71% of stepparents say they have overcome significant obstacles in bringing up their children.
Only 14% of single parents receive any assistance from the Government and just one in five feels supported by teachers or other members of their local communities. In fact almost three quarters of all parents, and 93% of single mothers and fathers, believe single parents are often wrongly used as scapegoats for social problems. Even more significantly, over two thirds of married couples agree single parents are often wrongly maligned or vilified.
For more information visit www.oneupmagazine.co.uk
[Submitted by Mulrennan] | |
Thursday 31 May 2007 | TOP STRESSES FOR PARENTS IN 2007 REVEALED | | | |
| Almost a third of British parents feel their greatest stress is not spending enough time with their children; a fifth worry most about their children getting a job and one in ten are most concerned about their child’s diet, according to research out today. Over 1,000 British parents were questioned about their key stresses in 2007.
The research revealed the teenage years are by far the most stressful for parents, with the ages of 15-16 years being cited as most stressful for nearly a third of parents and the ages of 13-14 being the most stressful for one in five. In contrast, the next most stressful age was 1-6 months named by 19%. But age 7-8 must be the wonder years – being cited least often as stressful by under 1% of parents.
With many working parents coping with today’s long hours’ culture, maintaining a work/life balance and seeing enough of their children cause parents the most worry by far, with 30% overall citing this as their number one stress. This rises to 40% of those with children aged 7-9. Although this is quite balanced across the sexes, interestingly fathers worry far more about children getting a job or having a successful career with a quarter of men being stressed about this aspect most, compared with a much smaller 14% of women. Parents with children aged 19+ are perhaps unsurprisingly, concerned about their child’s employment future above all else (28%).
With society’s growing awareness of obesity issues and the importance of healthy eating, 12% of parents overall said ensuring their child eats properly is their biggest cause of stress. These figures rise dramatically for parents of children under three, with a third of those with babies under 12 months and 29% of those with toddlers aged 1-3 most concerned about their child’s diet. Talking to their children about issues such as sex, alcohol and drugs is the most stressful aspect of parenthood for one in 20 parents.
A spokesperson from Directgov, said: “Being a parent can be fulfilling and stressful. The parenting section of Directgov offers parents a one-stop website they can rely on for tips and advice throughout their child’s development. Directgov contains information on everything from nutritional advice for babies and young children, how to find childcare and your rights to parental leave, through to tackling issues your children might face, such as bullying, teenage pregnancy, drugs and crime. The education and learning section provides support for children and their parents and includes advice on finding schools, revising for exams and preparing and applying for learning after 16.”
Judy Reith, parenting coach, said: “Apart from the first few months of a baby’s life, stress as a parent does seem to peak during the teenage years, as children become more independent and more subject to outside influences. Getting the right advice can be difficult as parents are bombarded daily with information. It’s important that parents have a place they can turn to, to help them sort out the practical as well as emotional issues that accompany parenthood at every stage. I recommend they try the parenting section on www.direct.gov.uk.”
[Submitted by Mulrennan] | |
| NSPCC calls on Brown to take urgent action in his first 100 days | | | |
| Four out of five kids say violence is a ‘major problem’
Violence is a major problem for 81% of young people nowadays, reveals a new survey by the NSPCC out today. The children’s charity is urging Gordon Brown to use his first 100 days as Prime Minister to help tackle violence against children.
Violence is now part and parcel of life for many youngsters. According to the NSPCC survey of more than 1000 boys and girls aged 11-16, two in five children see violence as simply ‘part of growing up’.
There are often problems at school, where 42% of youngsters say they have been hit, punched or kicked. Three quarters of children say they have been bullied while one in five admit they are afraid of violence in school. One in ten have been attacked with a weapon or object while on school premises. Three in five children have witnessed violence on the streets and say they are scared weapons would be used against them or their friends.
Even at home many children cannot escape violence. One in four said they had seen adults in the family being violent towards each other. Around half of domestic violence incidents (47%) involved physical assaults and 13 per cent involved the use of a weapon or object. One third of young people believed the person being violent had been drinking alcohol or taking drugs the last time.
One in six young people said they took no action the last time they saw something violent or abusive happening on the street or at school - because they did not know what to do. Only one in four believe young people know how to protect themselves.
The charity is also urging children to log on to the www.donthideit.com and phone ChildLine on 0800 1111 to speak out about bullying, violence and abuse.
Listen to top hip hop artist Lowkey as he gives us the lowdown on opening up about issues that may be affecting youhttp://www.podmaster.co.uk/podcast.php?ID=63
[Submitted by Mulrennan] | |
| Struggling with the pressures of modern parenting? | | | |
| Join Jan Fry as she discuss many issues facing today’s parents from baby to teenager and beyond…
‘Kids don’t come with an instruction manual’ is how the saying goes and for countless parents nothing could be truer. After all how do you cope with a tantruming toddler; a stroppy teenager or a child who refuses to go to school? Many mums and dads blame themselves and feel totally bewildered asking ‘is this normal behaviour?’ or ‘how do other families deal with it?’
With over 24 million people in the UK caring for children, parent and family issues high on the political agenda and a host of popular television programmes dedicated to parenting, the role of a parent has never been so debated or scrutinized. Whilst much of this is welcome news, it has also left many parents feeling confused, isolated and fearful of being labelled a ‘bad’ parent – not knowing where to turn for sound and practical advice and reassurance.
Even the Prime Minister admits that parenting is probably the toughest job we will ever do. There are many problems facing parents and few have a simple answer. How do you choose the right school for your child? How would you deal with divorce? What would you do if you found your child drinking alcohol or even taking drugs?
Most parents find some stages of their children’s upbringing more difficult than others, some prefer the pre-school years whilst others favour the later years when their children are more independent. If your memories of being 8-years old are bad ones because you were bullied at school it is likely to have a bearing on how you tackle your own child at the same age.
Modern mums and dads can become especially anxious as their children grow up and assert their independence. Many wish they could just ground their little ones until they are 30 and avoid all the worry, others will be relieved that their family has come through the turbulent teenage years relatively unscathed.
What does being a parent mean to you? What are your main worries? How do other families deal with problems?
Join Jan at http://www.webchats.co.uk/webchat.php?ID=386 as she offers the best advice to anxious mums and dads.
Chat spokesperson’s biogJan Fry is Deputy Chief Executive for national charity Parentline Plus and a mother of two. Starting her career as an education journalist, Jan’s flair for copy writing and public affairs led her into press & PR where she has worked in both the public and corporate sector for many years. Jan is committed to and focussed on supporting parents and families and has worked for a range of national voluntary organisations including Maternity Alliance, Brook and the Daycare Trust.
[Submitted by Mulrennan] | |
Wednesday 28 March 2007 | Activ-Dads - West Midlands - Solihull | | | |
| Activ-Dads have now launched a new and exciting webiste for Dads, Step-Dads, Grandads, Male Carers and Guardians in across solihull.
It is in the early stages of development but already has a feedback sheet, guest book and details on a number of different activities.
So have a look and tell use what you think, what you want added or hoow we can reach as many Dads as possible.
Cheers
Andy Giles - Activ-Dads
[Submitted by Andy Giles] | |
| To demonise divorced dads is a distraction | | | |
| IAIN MacWHIRTER - The Herald
When politicians start taking about family values, journalists reach for their chequebooks. I hope David Cameron and Tony Blair, who are both marching into this moral terrain, recall John Major's, "back to basics" initiative in the 1990s. That became "back to my place", as half a dozen Tory ministers who didn't match up to the family ideal were forced to resign.
The education secretary, Alan Johnson, yesterday tried to prevent history repeating itself by insisting that the traditional 2.4 family has no moral superiority over any other form of domestic arrangement.
However, he and David Cameron may have stepped into another moral minefield by calling for action against so-called "deadbeat dads". Feckless fathers don't just live in inner-London estates, and a lot of Labour MPs are divorced.
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Johnson's complaint is that fathers spend too little time with their children in marriage and then lose touch with them altogether in divorce. Half of fathers lose contact with their children within a year of separation. Nearly two-thirds lose contact within two years.
The answer is parenting classes for fathers and fathers-only nights at local schools. The Tory leader wants them named and shamed.
Deadbeat dads are taking over from welfare mums as the new social pariahs. An easy target for "right-thinking" politicians. But, as those who work with relationship breakdown will tell you, it is a myth that fathers are walking out on their offspring. Forty per cent of marriages end in divorce, and the vast majority arise, not from paternal irresponsibility, but hostile incompatibility. Just as it is futile to apportion blame to marital breakdown, it is wrong to assume that absent fathers are unconcerned about the welfare of their children. Most fathers are desperate to keep in contact with their kids and to exercise their responsibilities as best they can. Many of them don't get the chance.
Those who seek to demonise absent fathers forget that the majority of divorce actions are taken out by wives. High-profile divorce settlements have provided a potent financial incentive to end relationships on the most acrimonious terms. The children rapidly become pawns in protracted legal battles over custody and maintenance.
The reality is that the economic basis of the family has been undermined
The first action of a wife on the point of separation is, understandably, to seize command of the principal asset - the family home. It is generally the father who leaves because there is a legal presumption that the children will remain with the mother.
It's hardly surprising that fathers often find it difficult to maintain contact when access to the children is policed by one of the aggrieved parties to a divorce action - the mother. This almost guarantees that access will be fraught.
The absent parent is easy to blame since they are not there, and this is often accompanied by spurious claims that the fathers are in some way a threat to the stability or even the safety of what remains of the family. I'm not saying that some abusive fathers don't deserve to be placed under legal restraint, but it is very easy to construe the often desperate attempts by an absent father to assert rights of contact as a form of aggression.
Many absent fathers go through real mental trauma through being separated from their children. It is a form of living bereavement. They find that they are written out of their own children's lives and given little scope to form enduring relationships with them.
Men don't get married with the intention of abandoning their children, who are generally the most important thing in their lives, even after divorce. But absent fathers often find that access is infrequent and so hedged about with arbitrary restrictions that they lose heart.
It is easy to say that absent dads should fight harder to keep contact, but it is difficult to do so when arrangements are changed at the last moment and when the only contact is in a soulless "family" room in a council office block.
If absent fathers are going to be brought back into their children's lives then the courts must be prepared to enforce contact orders - at present they don't. Organisations such as the Child Support Agency should make contact a condition of maintenance. And politicians need to engage their brains.
Does it matter if fathers are excluded from the family? Yes, it does. Children need both parents. In some parts of Scotland, half of all children are now living in single-parent families and the father is ceasing to figure as a significant role model, or even a normal part of domestic life.
Children are increasingly growing up in one-sided female-dominated households. They are then cared for by female childminders before they go to primary schools where they will be taught by women teachers. This is particularly damaging for boys, but also affects girls, who come to see men as a race apart. Society cannot function with sexual apartheid.
But demonising dads for this is no more helpful than condemning teenage mums. Both are sexist stereotypes which cloud debate and obscure the reality that, increasingly, marriage is becoming unsustainable.
This is caused, not by feckless fathers, but by a complex range of factors including work pressures, breakdown of community, disintegration of the extended family and the presumption today that it requires two incomes to maintain a decent family living standard.
At a recent conference I chaired on the breakdown of the family, the speakers invariably cited working arrangements as a principal cause of relationship breakdown and anti-social behaviour in children.
The mainly female academics, teachers and social work professionals wanted more support for mothers to be able to look after their children full-time, rather than handing them over to childminders while they went out to work.
No-one wants to put the clock back to the days when women were excluded from careers and chained to the kitchen sink. But women - and men - increasingly want the choice to be able to raise their own children, and they are surely right to do so. If the two-parent family has a future, this is it.
Unfortunately, stay-at-home parenting conflicts with government policy, which is to force lone parents out to work to keep them off benefits. Raising your own children is becoming a privilege of the rich. Attacking divorced fathers is a convenient distraction from the reality that the economic basis of the family has been undermined.
This is much more serious than the scrapping of Married Couples Allowance. The reality is that we are being overwhelmed by family breakdown which is the defining social phenomenon of the age. And deadbeat dads, far from being the cause, are the first casualties.
http://www.theherald.co.uk/features/features/display.var.1223383.0.0.php
[Submitted by Baldrick] | |
| Call for the NSCFC to support Early Day Motion 128 Parenting time presumption | | | |
| Thanks to the hard work of many campaigners, as of yesterday EDM 128 Parenting Time Presumption become 5th out of nearly 2400 EDM's before parliament and with 323 MP's signing now has an overall majority of MP's in support,detail as follows:
151 Conservatives
105 Labour
46 Lib Dems
21 Others
We still have 5-6 months to get more MP's signed up to this and with gathering momentum who knows what could be achieved, and what may be prompted as a result.
I am contacting all of the groups known to me to canvas support and ask if your organisation would canvas support from members, lets keep up the pressure on those MP's yet to sign (for more information on the EDM and level of support please see an update below)
Regards Ian
PLEASE CASCADE OUT MESSAGE TO ANY OTHER LINKS & FORUMS
Web link
http://edmi.parliament.uk/EDMi/EDMDetails.aspx?EDMID=28316&SESSION=875
Link to email MP although letter possibly more effective
http://www.writetothem.com/
PARENTING TIME PRESUMPTION
18.05.2005
May, Theresa
That this House believes that separated parents should each have a legal presumption of contact with their children, so that both parents can continue to parent their children and children are able to benefit from
being parented by both their parents, as well as from contact with any grandparents and extended family members able and willing to play a role in their upbringing; and urges the Government to replace the legal term`contact' with `parenting time' and to ensure that parenting time orders can be and are made and enforced by the courts, save where a child's safety would be at risk. | |
Thursday 01 March 2007 | To demonise divorced dads is a distraction | | | |
| IAIN MacWHIRTER - The Herald
28th February 2007
When politicians start taking about family values, journalists reach for their chequebooks. I hope David Cameron and Tony Blair, who are both marching into this moral terrain, recall John Major's, "back to basics" initiative in the 1990s. That became "back to my place", as half a dozen Tory ministers who didn't match up to the family ideal were forced to resign.
The education secretary, Alan Johnson, yesterday tried to prevent history repeating itself by insisting that the traditional 2.4 family has no moral superiority over any other form of domestic arrangement.
However, he and David Cameron may have stepped into another moral minefield by calling for action against so-called "deadbeat dads". Feckless fathers don't just live in inner-London estates, and a lot of Labour MPs are divorced.
[ Read the rest... ]
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Monday 11 December 2006 | Proportion of mothers who do not pay CSA is higher than Dads | | | |
| Seven out of 10 absent parents pay maintenance for children
- Image of fathers refusing to pay is exaggerated - CSA
- Proportion of mothers who do not pay is higher
David Hencke, Westminster correspondent
Guardian Monday April 10, 2006
http://www.guardian.co.uk/print/0,,329453996-103690,00.html
The popular image of feckless fathers who leave the marital home and refuse to pay any money towards the upkeep of their former wife and children has been much exaggerated, according to new figures from the Child Support Agency.
Latest returns from the government agency show that a marginally higher proportion of women than men persistently refuse to pay child maintenance.
[ Read the rest... ]
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Date published: Sun, 18 May 2008 10:09:51 GMT
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Date published: Sun, 18 May 2008 05:55:27 GMT
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Date published: Mon, 02 Jan 2006 11:00:00 GMT
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